Many people are faced with deciding whether or not to put their parents into a nursing home against their will. It’s a tough decision and one that many are undecided about. They will question themselves if they made the correct decision, possibly creating anxiety and turmoil for years.

This article aims to offer some insight into this issue and provide you with advice on how to decide whether or not it’s right for you. It will also give you practical tips on the methods you can use to introduce the topic of moving into a nursing home.

While this article is written with parents in mind, it should apply if your parent has any age-related disability.

Making the Decision

When deciding whether or not to place a parent (or any family member) in a nursing home, there are two factors to consider: emotional and financial. Both of these factors must be at their peak before taking action.

The emotional factor weighs more heavily. For example, if your aging loved one has dementia, your loved one may come to you one day and say: “I’m never going into that place. I don’t want to be there.” You must consider their wishes very seriously, not just because you think they won’t understand them, but also because of the financial impact of the decision on your family.

One thing to remember is that no decision is irreversible. Your parent may change their mind in a few months, or a year, or ten years. It means that if you put them into a nursing home today, there is always the chance that they will come out of it. On the other hand, suppose you are afraid that they will be unable to leave the nursing home tomorrow. In that case, I can assure you that this will happen anyway – possibly sooner rather than later if dementia progresses.

There are some situations where it’s OK to disregard your parent’s wishes regarding nursing homes. For example, as they grow older, their mental capacity will begin to decline. If their dementia is such that they cannot understand the decision you have made, then it’s reasonable to ignore their wishes.

The financial factor is more tangible than the emotional factor. You can crunch it down into simple numbers, which makes it easier on yourself. First, you need to figure out how long you think your parent will stay in the nursing home and how much this will cost.

One of the primary factors in the cost is whether or not your parent will be well enough to go home. In most cases, your parent will have a good chance of going home under their power if they are ambulatory. However, if they have dementia and can walk around the nursing home, they will likely remain at home.

Another factor in this equation is how long you expect them to live (their life expectancy). The general rule of thumb is to divide your parent’s age in half and assume they will live at least that long. For example, if your parent is 85, dividing 85 by two would give you an average life expectancy of 42.5 years. If this is the case, you can use this as a guideline to decide how long they will stay in the nursing home. On the other hand, if your parents are older than 85, you should double their age before dividing it by two when they go into the nursing home.

Laws Regarding Placing Your Loved Ones in a Nursing Home

When it comes to deciding whether or not to place a parent in a nursing home, you must understand the laws that govern this decision in your state. In addition, you must consider other factors related to the area where you live. Any state (and even some countries) have a very different approach to its citizens than others. For instance, some states offer more funding than others. Some states have more nursing homes than others, while other states have fewer.

The laws can differ from state to state, and even within a state, they can change over time. Therefore, you must educate yourself on these laws before taking action. In addition, you should familiarize yourself with the laws pertaining to placing your parents in nursing homes, whether you live in the U.S, Canada, or another country.

According to Danielle Robertson, director of DR Care Solutions, anyone moving into a nursing home must consent to the move. If they don’t want to go into a nursing home, they should ask for other options.

“Unless the person has lost capacity, you can’t put a person into care without their consent,” she said.

“You can’t force someone against their will.” She added.

But, there are some exceptions…

Below are the three most common exceptions to this rule and the situations you can legally place a loved one into a nursing home.

1. Guardianship

Senior guardianship is the process of putting an elder who cannot care for themselves into a nursing home. The court can appoint the guardian if the senior is unable to make decisions or incapable of handling their finances. In addition, they may have a conservatorship, which allows the person in charge to use their own money for care centers and financial needs.

2. Incapacity

The determination of whether someone is legally considered mentally incompetent is made using the standards provided by the state. For example, a person must demonstrate they are unable to manage their affairs. The skills needed to qualify are based on a person’s ability to handle money and property, both personal and business.

The inability to exhibit the skills must convince the court that the person is incapacitated before granting guardianship or conservatorship. This process is called a hearing. In addition, the guardian may need to submit proof of the elder’s inability to handle their affairs and must be able to show they could not handle the care if they were not granted guardianship. Again, an attorney may be able to help you if you have questions about your family member.

3. Consulting a Doctor

You can consult with a doctor before you put an elderly family member into a nursing home to get their professional opinion about the possible placement. The physician will need to explain how the elder’s mental condition interferes with their ability to function properly and why they must receive care in a facility.

In some cases, doctors are the ones who recommend placing an elderly individual into a nursing home, but they don’t always agree on what they think is best for the senior. As a result, family members may have to decide whether or not to put a loved one in a nursing home based on their own opinions.

Convincing Your Loved One to Move Into a Nursing Home

Now that you know the process for getting your aging parent into a nursing home, you should understand that you convince your parent that this is what they want. They may have been against the idea, but if you are persistent about it, they may come around and see the benefit of staying in a facility versus living on their own.

In most instances, this process will start with a visit to the home and an introduction to the staff. You should take a walk through the facility and introduce yourself to the staff. Make sure you give your loved one their area of choice to stay. It is also vital that you explain why you think this is the best option for them. They may not want to move into a nursing home, but they will come around once you explain what it is like and how much it will cost.

Explain the benefits of a nursing home

If your parent has dementia or another form of mental illness, the most important thing you can do is help them maintain their quality of life. Ensure you know how to communicate with your aging loved one with dementia to avoid confusion and conflict. The nursing home can help relieve some of their symptoms by relieving them from caring for themselves. You may be able to do this remotely from their room if they are in a facility close to where you live.

The nursing home is a great place to stay, and as you explain the benefits of a nursing home, your parent may realize that it is the best option available.

Help with the financial aspect of being in a nursing home.

You should also help them with the financial aspect of being in a nursing home. There are different options to consider, and you should discuss them with your loved ones before giving them money. They may be able to afford their care and will not want your help at this point. You can also discuss how much their monthly expenditures will be and ask what part you will pay.

Don’t give up on your loved one

It is essential to know that not everyone who moves into a nursing home ends up being happy there. Sometimes, they become frustrated by the lack of freedom they are allowed in their own home or can lose the aspect of care they once had. However, not everyone who lives in a nursing home finds it so negative. Some of those who move there leave happy and relieved by the situation.

The key is to not give up on your loved ones because it may be a significant change for them. Your loved one may feel more comfortable in a nursing home than they do living at home by themselves. You should also be patient with them as they slowly adjust to the new lifestyle. It may take them some time to adapt to their new environment. While dealing with change, it would be better to show them support by providing them with things or words of wisdom that may help them lighten up, like inspiring quotes for older people.

If You Have Questions About Putting a Family Member in a Nursing Home, Serenity Senior Care can help. If you are interested in learning more about our services, give us a call at (858) 798-7878. Our friendly staff is available to answer any questions you may have.

If you are interested in learning more about our services, give us a call at 973-338-0124. Our friendly staff is available to answer any questions you may have.